Last Thoughts and First Loves
by NovemberMurray
Summary: Rose and her human Doctor talk about his previous incarnation Christmas Morning. Rose/Ten Rose/Nine One-shot.


Author's Note: Just a little idea I had as I was re-watching The End of Time. I loved it! Though I was sad to see Tennant go, just as I was sad to see Eccleston go. Now worries, I have fanfiction (in which no one is dead MUAHAHAHA). On with my little One-shot.

Disclaimer: Yeah… I don't own much of anything… yep, I own nothing.

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Last Thoughts and First Loves by November Murray

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Through the crack between the thick, deep-red curtains that covered Rose's east facing window came a thin golden sliver of bright daylight that fell across the bed where she lay. The red digital clock on the bedside table read 10:40, but it didn't matter because; it was Christmas Day and the winter wind was blowing cold and strong through London. In her small fifth floor flat Rose was warm under the covers lying close to her Doctor. She'd smiled the first time it was brought up; that her now human Doctor needed more sleep than his Time Lord self. Still today was rare because Rose lay awake, in complete contentment, watching his even breathing as he slept through the morning beside her. The blonde's eyes lingered over his calm face as he dreamed, his tousled hair and bare chest. No matter how many times she saw him that way, looking so normal and yet totally out of place, it always struck her how fantastical it was to have him there beside her. The Doctor, Destroyer of Worlds, The Oncoming Storm, The Lord of Time, loved _her,_ a mere human child, a college dropout, a (former) shop girl, Rose Tyler. The Doctor shifted beside her and she smiled down at her lover as slowly his amber eyes cracked open and he blinked into the sunlight that spilled from the curtain split.

"Good Morning," Rose whispered and leaned closer to cast her shadow over him. Her Doctor stopped blinking as the sun disappeared behind her and smiled back.

"Good Morning, Merry Christmas," He replied horse but lovingly, brushing a lose strand of blond hair behind her ear. "What has you up so early?"

"It's nearly eleven," Rose laughed.

"Blimy! Is it really?" He wondered and his brow pulled together in that familiar, confused way that Rose loved.

"Sure is, great Lord-who-needeth-no-sleep," she joked and poked him.

"Hey!" he protested and rolled away from her jab onto his side. "I'm not used to this human sleep pattern. How do you people get anything done when you spend so much time sleeping?"

"Amazing aren't we?" Rose laughed and crawled over to lay across his shoulder.

"Yes you are," he agreed.

"So what has made you so tired?" Rose inquired of her boyfriend. "We went to bed before midnight for once."

"Did we?" he muttered, "I must have just laid here thinking for a few hours then, that's all." He rolled back so Rose could lay out over his chest and rest her head on the pillow beside him.

"Reminiscing?" she asked.

"Yeah," he sighed and his eyes got that far off look that made Rose remember he was 871 years older than she was.

"Tell me about it," she whispered in his ear. His eyes pulled back into focus as her voice jerked him from his thoughts.

"Well it was about you really," he explained.

"About somewhere we went?" Rose asked, curious which adventure had sparked up in his dizzying mind.

"No _one_ place, it was about my past self actually, the Doctor you met first."

"What about him?" Rose wondered aloud. She could still fondly remember his face, big ears and all. Many times after the Doctor's regeneration she'd wished he hadn't changed. For all of his abrasiveness, her first Doctor had a special tenderness about him Rose often missed in those first days with the new Doctor. But now, on some days, her human Doctor was so alike to his previous incarnation it made her crazy. Her Doctor would get that cynical, abrasive attitude and it reminded Rose so much of her first Doctor.

"Sometimes it feels," The man beside her started, "it feels like he's still here, in my head… sometimes I think like him. And all of his thoughts are here inside me… including the last ones, right before he regenerated. That's what I was thinking about. Those last thoughts of a different me. Do you want to hear those thoughts of a dying man?" He leveled her with his warm brown eyes that held all the pain of his many lives in their depth.

"Nothing you say will change how I remember him," Rose vowed. She could see it in her lover's face, that fear that she might not want to hear the words after he told her.

"He was thinking about you… and worrying that his next incarnation wouldn't love you as he did. He worried that he might stop caring in the same way and let you walk out of his life…" He paused as if scared to continue, "But just as much, he was scared that his next persona would love you more and over shadow him completely." Rose was frozen for a moment just picturing what she must have looked like to the Doctor, back in the TARDIS as they fled Satellite 5, clinging to the curving columns, eyes wide and scared for the man she loved. And Rose realized that he'd been just as afraid…The human Doctor gently wiped a salty drop from Rose's cheek and pulled her from her thoughts. Sniffling, Rose sat up, away from him, and wiped away her tears quickly, having never notice them start.

"He could be so stupid sometimes," she whispered, voice wet from her tears and unable to meet the Doctor's eyes. "Idiot, how could he think I would forget him even if you love me more or don't love me at all… How did he think I could have forgotten him?"

"But you didn't," Her Doctor smiled and sat up to pull her into a warm embrace. "We both love you. He's not gone, not really. So don't cry, please Rose, he wouldn't want you to cry… not today."

Wiping away stray tears, Rose nodded. Feeling a small smile tugging at her lips, she mumbled, "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas," he agreed with a wide grin and pulled her into his arms again, happy just to hold her and feel her there beside him. Rose smiled through the last of her tears, remembering everything about her old Doctor. She'd never forget him, even though she had this extraordinary man beside her. He'd been the first man she ever truly loved, how could she forget that? Never, he'd always be there. They were both parts of her life, parts of her heart, and herself. The Doctor holding her went very still for a moment then asked, "Did you say it's eleven o'clock? Weren't we supposed to be at your parents for lunch at eleven?"

"Crap!"

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Author's Note: Well there is my little Christmas Rose/Ten Rose/Nine One-Shot. XD Thanks for reading and please Review MERRY CHRISTMAS! HAPPY HANUKKAH! HAPPY QUANZA! (or whatever you celebrate ^^) -


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